Laughs to end the year

A guy walks INTO a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"

The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"

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Origin of 'smells fishy':

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, "The morning Eve and I made love for the first time."

God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?"

Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."

"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."

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Viagra Joke

Woman: Can I get Viagra here?

Pharmacist: Yes.

Woman: Can I get it over the counter?

Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can

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"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get
you a bit loose." "Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take
you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks." "Oh no you're
not." "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."
"Oh no you're not." "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love
to you." "Oh no you're not." "And I'm not going to wear a c*ndom
either!" said the guy. "Oh yes you are!" said the girl.
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A young lady who had been dating a young man for almost a year was
asked by her parents what his intentions were. "I'm not quite sure,"
she replied. "He's been keeping me pretty much in the dark."

What's a gay astronaut's greatest ambition?
To visit Uranus!

Did you hear about the midget who overdosed on Vi*gra?
He's a little stiff now.

There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We
may never piss this way again."

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?
A poor marksman shoots but never hits.

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly: "I was artificially ins*minated this morning." "I don't
believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"

What should you do if your date yells, "I can't take it any longer!"?
Tell her not to worry; it's not gonna get any longer!

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

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Till next time,keep on LOLling.

Laughter Time

Two Columbia Yuppies, neighbors for years, were constantly trying to "out-status" each other. The first man mentioned that his daughter had just been accepted at Vassar. "That's nice," replied the other, "but the main thing the girls really learn there is fornication." The first man became irate and said, "I'll have you know my wife attended Vassar!" The neighbor smiled and said, "Take it from me, Pal, your
wife certainly could use a refresher course."


The attractive young thing was about to go to bed with her blind date
when she burst into tears. "I'm afraid you'll get the wrong idea
about me," she said between sobs. "I'm really not that kind of girl!"
"I believe ya," her date said, as he tried to comfort her. "You're
the first one," she gulped. "The first one to make love to you?" he
asked. "No!" she replied. "The first one to believe me."

What do you call a guy with a one inch p*nis?
Justin.

What did the Indian say when the pr*stitute tied a knot in his pecker?
"How come!"

What's the best way to make yourself last with your girlfriend?
Let everyone else go first!

Why did the priest get AIDS?
He forgot to clean his organ between hymns!

The earthworm comes equipped with both male and female sex organs.
Now there's a creature who really can go f*ck himself.

A female teacher with a great figure was starting her junior high
class on a unit on astronomy. She asked the class which part of the
Universe interested them most. A boy in the front row immediately
replied, "Uranus!"


Said a specialty hooker named Jean,
Who made the Jacuzzi her scene,
"A rub-a-dub-dub,
Three men in a tub
Not only come close, they come clean.'

Hom*sexual: One who has s*x only in his own residence

She was only a Tailor's daughter, and she sure could give tit for tat.

Confucius say man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money.

Confucius say woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring.

Sociologists do it with class.

Keep on LOLling.