Laughs to end the year
A guy walks INTO a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"
The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
------
Origin of 'smells fishy':
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, "The morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
--------
Viagra Joke
Woman: Can I get Viagra here?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can I get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can
-----
"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get
you a bit loose." "Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take
you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks." "Oh no you're
not." "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."
"Oh no you're not." "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love
to you." "Oh no you're not." "And I'm not going to wear a c*ndom
either!" said the guy. "Oh yes you are!" said the girl.
-----
A young lady who had been dating a young man for almost a year was
asked by her parents what his intentions were. "I'm not quite sure,"
she replied. "He's been keeping me pretty much in the dark."
What's a gay astronaut's greatest ambition?
To visit Uranus!
Did you hear about the midget who overdosed on Vi*gra?
He's a little stiff now.
There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We
may never piss this way again."
What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?
A poor marksman shoots but never hits.
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly: "I was artificially ins*minated this morning." "I don't
believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"
What should you do if your date yells, "I can't take it any longer!"?
Tell her not to worry; it's not gonna get any longer!
What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
-----
Till next time,keep on LOLling.
The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
------
Origin of 'smells fishy':
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier. Adam said, "The morning Eve and I made love for the first time."
God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?"
Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."
"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."
--------
Viagra Joke
Woman: Can I get Viagra here?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can I get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can
-----
"First," said the playboy, "I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get
you a bit loose." "Oh no you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take
you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks." "Oh no you're
not." "Then I'll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks."
"Oh no you're not." "Then I'm going to make violent, passionate love
to you." "Oh no you're not." "And I'm not going to wear a c*ndom
either!" said the guy. "Oh yes you are!" said the girl.
-----
A young lady who had been dating a young man for almost a year was
asked by her parents what his intentions were. "I'm not quite sure,"
she replied. "He's been keeping me pretty much in the dark."
What's a gay astronaut's greatest ambition?
To visit Uranus!
Did you hear about the midget who overdosed on Vi*gra?
He's a little stiff now.
There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We
may never piss this way again."
What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?
A poor marksman shoots but never hits.
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly: "I was artificially ins*minated this morning." "I don't
believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"
What should you do if your date yells, "I can't take it any longer!"?
Tell her not to worry; it's not gonna get any longer!
What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
-----
Till next time,keep on LOLling.
posted by amitsfavourites at 11:03 PM
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